Nevermore
by SpeakerofTaleandLore
Summary: Reid is well acquainted with insanity. All he has to do is look in the mirror. He also sees a raven. He always sees the raven. The raven always watches. The raven always waits. "Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before…quoth the raven, 'nevermore.'" – Edgar Allen Poe
1. Chapter 1

"_I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity."  
- Edgar Allan Poe_

Reid stared at his reflection. "It's only been two doses you've missed. No problem." He muttered to himself. "You'll be fine." The thing that bothered him the most was that he didn't believe the man in the mirror.

With that he turned and left the bathroom and returned to his seat on the jet. Morgan was listening to music, JJ and Prentiss were talking, and Hotchner and Rossi were reviewing the case files. With a sigh, Reid sat heavily down and took out a piece of paper.

He began to scribble illegible notes on the paper rather fiercely. "Lenore. Lenore." He muttered. "'_Other friends have flown before, on the morrow he will leave me, as my hopes have flown before. Then the bird said, `Nevermore._'' Nevermore." He drew the word out like it was a sip of fine wine. He began to write that word over and over again, his hand growing faster and his pace quickening. The pencil snapped in his hand and his head jerked up. "What?"

"Reid," Prentiss said. They had called his name several times. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, um, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He shook the thoughts from his head and folded the piece of paper.

"Well, we'll be landing in ten minutes." She said, looking puzzled.

"Hey, man." Morgan leaned over, taking his head-phones off.

"Yes?" Reid asked.

"You're really alright?" Morgan took notice of a haunted look to Reid's eyes. "When was the last time you've slept?"

"Last night, I suppose. But really, I'm fine." Reid said and fidgeted with his fingers. "Really."

* * *

JJ laid the folders in front of each team members' seat. Hotch and Rossi came into the room followed by Prentiss, Morgan, and Reid. Reid paused and looked out the window. He could have sworn that there was a raven watching him with its scheming eyes.

He sat down, and when he looked up his heart leapt up into his throat. All around there were dead ravens. They were all nailed to the ceiling, the windows, and the walls with their wings splayed out. He wondered as to why no one said anything. He began to tap his foot and aggravation, rubbing his temples. Everyone else took their seats and began to listen to Hotch as he explained what evidence they had.

_Ring around the rosie…_

Reid looked up and looked at the birds. He started to breath a bit heavy. _It's not real._ He thought. He began to tap his pen lightly on the desk, not listening to whatever Hotch or Rossi were saying.

_Pocket full of posies…_

He looked up and thought that he saw _her_ at the window. _She_ was the one who visited him the day before. In his sleep. When the dreams and the nightmares consumed his dormant mind. The only thing that made _sense_ in the chaos was her voice whispering secrets and truths that she couldn't have possibly had known. She was sweet and innocent. She was sinister. _Shut up, shut up, shut up…_Reid thought.

_Ashes…ashes_….

Reid rubbed his eyes and looked up at the group. Garcia was on a computer screen speaking with Morgan and Prentiss. Reid's pen tapping sped up dramatically to a point that the others were getting annoyed.

_We all…_

Reid looked at the window. The girl was missing. He felt her, though. She was always watching. Always with her long, stringy hair, cocked lips, black, black, black, evil eyes that chilled the room with a single blink. Always watching.

Reid heard more voices. Laughing, singing, moaning, complaining, rambling. The ravens began to bleed. Blood ran in droplet onto the walls and floors. The tapping of the pencil was maddening now. The others looked to Reid who looked aggravated and afraid.

"Hey, Pretty Boy. Can you stop that?" Morgan asked and tried to get back to work, but the others paused and looked at Reid, worry etched onto their faces. _Shutupshutupshutupshutupshutup…_

_Fall…_

"Reid, are you alright?" Hotch moved towards Reid.

_Down…_

"Shut up!" He cried and stood up rather harshly, sending the chair and pen toppling to the ground. He held his head. Too much noise, too much light, too much blood, too much color. "Shhh…" He choked, urging everyone to silence. How could they not _see_ all the blood? Why aren't they doing anthing? And the ravens? And the girl. The girl was standing at window, but this time she was inside.

"No! _No_! Go away." He told the girl. "I need more time to find the clues."

"Reid, what are you talking about?" Prentiss took notice that Reid was screaming and muttering at the window in which no one stood.

_You have too, Spencer. You promised me._

"B-but I can't solve the puzzle if the riddle is ever changing! It doesn't make sense" He replied and threw his bag at the window.

"Reid, calm down!" Hotch finally said.

"What? What? What's going on?" Garcia's chimed. Morgan turned the computer around at Reid.

"J-just leave _me alone_! I need more _time_!" He gritted his teeth. He shook his head to dispel the voices. The girl had gone, and when he looked to JJ he saw her standing next to her, grinning madly. "JJ!" He shrieked and pulled his gun.

In a fluid motion, the rest of the BAU drew their weapons and pointed it to Reid.

"Run! She's right next to you! You have to run!" _How can she not see her?_

JJ looked to her side. "No one's there…" she said, clearly confused.

"She's going to hurt you!" He urged and suddenly felt nauseous. "How can you _not_ see all the blood? And the ravens nailed to the walls? How can you not see _her_?"

"See _who_, Reid!?"

"The girl!" He said and steadily pointed the gun. "Shhh…" he muttered again. "Shhhut up, shut up, shut up..." He shook his head widely.

_You said you'll play my game, Spencer. You promised. But since you can't seem to keep your promist, I guess I'll just _remind_ you to keep your-_

"No!" He discharged a bullet near JJ who, along with everyone else, flinched.

The girl ran around the room laughing manically and coaxing him to shoot. The other voices weren't too much help and the room was getting too bright with so much darkness and yet a rainbow of colors and blood and dead ravens and people staring at him, telling him, screaming at him to put the gun down.

He shot off countless rounds, trying to kill the girl. Trying to make her go away. "Just _leave…me…alone_!" he screamed in between gunshots.

He backed up against the wall, his face covered in sweat and tears. _Why is my heart beating so loud? Shhhhhh….just _shhhhhh_._

He looked at all of his friends and put the gun to his head, panting hard.

"Reid," Morgan said, lowering his own weapon. "Don't do this, man. We can help you. Just don't pull that trigger."

"You're not thinking right. We can get you help. Put the weapon down" Hotch offered.

"Help?_ Help_?" Reid whimpered, his whole body shaking. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I-I don't want to play this game anymore. I can't find the clues. The riddle's ever changing. There is no _time_ left. I just want the voices and the ravens and the girl to leave me alone."

He looked at his team. "I just want the pain to stop," he sobbed before he pulled the trigger.


	2. Chapter 2

"_Invisible things are the only realities."  
- Edgar Allan Poe_

_Click. Click. Click-click._

"N-no! No, no, no, no…" Reid opened the clip to the gun. It was empty. "_No_! Dammit!"

Hotch grabbed Reid and Prentiss picked up his fallen gun. "No!" He cried again. "You have to let me die! I don't want to play the game anymore!"

Garcia was on the computer crying and she called the local hospital to come by to sedate him and pick him up.

Hotch held Reid in an iron grip, making sure that his gun was out of arms reach. "We'll get you help, Reid. Calm down." Reid sobbed and he saw men donned in white hold him down as they put a needle in his arm.

Above him he could see the ravens with nails driven into their wings. Behind the doctors he could see the little girl, grinning. _Can you guess my name, Spencer? Guess it right and you'll be one step closer to solving the riddle._ Reid heard her sweet honey-voice say. "But I can't…" He whispered. Her black eyes were the last thing he saw before the world went black.

* * *

There was a constant hum and beeping sound. It whirred about Reid's subconscious and drove him from sleep. At first he thought that it was a clock. An old, beeping grandfather clock. But grandfather clocks didn't beep or hum. They went back and forth ticking and tocking and chiming every hour. They didn't _beep_.

Reid's eyes opened. The room was a light creamy color. The sheets were scratchy and white. He wore a thin hospital gown that did nothing to shield him from the blasting AC.

There was a sharp pain in his head, but it was faint like the end of a pounding headache. He slowly sat up and finally took in the most of his surroundings. Everything seemed normal, save what was next to him, on the right side of the bed.

From the ceiling was a simple wooden swing and on it was the little girl. She looked at him with a sunken face and cold eyes. She swung back and forth, back and forth. There was little noise because instead of chain the swing was supported by rope.

_Good morning, Spencer._

He looked away, trying to ignore her.

_Aw, don't be mean! You can't deny me nor can you ignore me forever._

"You're not real." He muttered.

_But aren't I? Then why can you see me?_

"The others couldn't see you." He tried to place a logical reason for the presence of the girl. "Therefore you're not real." It's in his mind. He had missed his medication. That had to be it.

_That's because they aren't as smart as you are. They're less observant. Do you fear me, Spencer?_

"You're _not real_, and I wish that you would just go _away_."

_I can't go away. Not until you play my game_.She paused, thoughtful. _You're afraid of me, aren't you?_

He closed his eyes and laid his head on the pillow, trying to go back to sleep.

_You really want to sleep now?_

"Shut up."

_What if the nightmares come back?_

"Shut…up…"

_I can keep the pain, the fear, away, Spencer. You just have to play my game. Solve the riddle, find the clues…_

Spencer could hear more voices mixing with the little girl.

_Figure out my name and we'll be closer to the end of the game. You and I aren't so different, you know._

Spencer let out a tiny groan. "Shut up!"

_We're practically the same_. A shrill giggle filled the room. There was warm breath on his neck and his ear. He shot up with a gasp and looked around. The girl had gone and so has her swing. He took a deep breath and held his head in his hands.

The door opened and a nurse walked in, with a small smile on her face. She had almond shaped eyes and hair pulled into a messy bun. "Oh, thank goodness you're awake…uh…Spencer Reid." She looked at the chart at the end of the bed.

"Doctor." He replied.

"What? Oh, right. Dr. Spencer Reid." She scanned his chart. "Um, how are you feeling?"

"Where's my team?"

"Your friends are waiting outside for you, speaking with your doctor. He'll be in shortly. Would you like something to eat, to drink?"

"Some water, please."

"I can get that for you. Just don't go anywhere." She murmured in a tiny voice and quietly walked out of the room.

* * *

JJ, Morgan, and Hotchner waited for word on Reid in the waiting room. The rest of the team still had the case to work on back at the station.

"We've run some tests," The attending doctor said to Hotchner. "And he hasn't been drugged or poisoned. I've set up an appointment with the hospital's psychologist to evaluate him. Can you elaborate on the details of his breakdown?"

Hotch sighed and nodded and began to explain to him what happened. He started with Reid's odd behavior on the jet.

"Excuse me, Dr. Hanks?" A woman with almond eyes seemed to appear out of nowhere with a bottle of water in hand.

"Yes, Cadence?"

"Dr. Reid is awake and awaiting your visit."

"Okay, thank you. I'll be there in a minute."

"Joy." She turned around, but was stopped by Morgan who began to pebble her with questions.

"Is he alright?" He asked.

"He seems to have a spot of a headache. I've got some water for him, so…" She walked around Morgan and out of the waiting area.

* * *

"Dr. Reid, I've got you some water-" The grin was wiped off of her face when she saw that Reid's clothes had gone and his bed was empty. There was an abandoned hospital gown on the seat. She dropped the water and stormed out of the room.

"Dr. Hanks! Dr. Ha-a-a-a-nks!" She ran up to the Doctor who was making his way down the hallway. "Doctor…Reid…is gone…"

"_What_!?" He exclaimed.

"I went…" She took a deep breath and took her hands off her knees. "I left to get him water and when I got back he wasn't there."

"Notify his friends in the waiting area and get me security. He couldn't have gone far."

* * *

Reid could feel the wind hit him when he reached the roof. How he got there was a blur, but if he really wanted he could bring some clarity to the fuzziness. He took a deep breath and walked out, closing the door behind him.

He went to the ledge and looked down at the nearly empty street. It was a fairly quant town. Where was he again? Right. New Jersey. And yet, this nice place wasn't untouched by murderers and psychopaths.

He looked and noticed on the telephone pole there were two crows. He didn't know if they were real or not. He stepped up on the ledge. He just wanted the game to _end_. He began to hear voices.

_Do it! Do it you coward! Jump and fly! _

"Shut up…" He whimpered.

_Come on, do it! It's not like no one would ever care! They're just going to lock you up! You're going to end up like your mother!_

"No…" He was about to take a step forward.

_Don't you want the game to end? You were supposed to find my name! Solve the riddle, find the clues!_ The little girl's voice rang in his ears. _Solve the riddle, find the clues! 'Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary, over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore-'_

"Excuse me?" A voice, different from others, rang out. The crows flew away, startling Reid as he turned around and his spinning world halted and the chaos ceased and the noise turned into blessed silence.


	3. Chapter 3

"_Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear."  
- Edgar Allan Poe_

"E-excuse me…" The young woman said again. Reid looked at her in the eye, staring her down. She looked away and drew her hands up into her sweater sleeves and her head into her hood, much like a turtle. "Wh-what are you doing up there?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Reid scoffed.

"I'd like to think you're bird watching, but I guess I'm wrong." The girl took a step forward. "You look scared."

"Scared? _Scared_?" Reid was hysterical. "Of course I'm scared! I can't tell the difference between reality and my fantasies. I'm trapped in a never ending game that I can't complete because I can't find the clues to the riddle that's ever changing and…" Reid was rambling.

"I can help you…"

"No! No. Everyone says they can but they're going to lock me up." He turned back around.

"Hey. _Hey_. Listen to me!" She took a few more steps forward. "I can't help you with your problems, but I can help you get off that damned ledge!"

Reid turned around and saw that she had started to cry a bit. His shoulders sagged, clearly defeated. "I just want the pain to stop."

"But the pain won't stop. Sure, it will stop for _you_. But think about your family, your friends. Think about me for god's sake! If you jump right now, how much pain do you think that I'll be in, hmm? I don't have time for therapy and this very conversation is going to keep me up nights. Stop being selfish and get your ass down here." She huffed and breathed heavily.

Reid, being a profiler, started evaluating her outburst. She was clearly a shy, socially-awkward woman who probably wouldn't do anything like this unless it was on impulse or out of fear (that would explain the blush). He sighed and stepped off the ledge.

The woman sighed relief and smacked his arm lightly. "Damn it, man. Don't be stupid like that _ever_ again or I will resurrect you and kill you myself. How'd you get up here, anyway? Are you a patient in the hospital?"

Reid smiled. "I-I really don't want to talk about it. But I think that my friends and my doctor maybe looking for me."

The woman smiled. "I can lead you back, c'mon." She opened the door for him.

"Ladies first," He ushered.

"Nu-uh! There's no need for a sense of chivalry here. Mush." She ordered him forward into the door and closed it behind her. As they were walking down Reid paused and saw the girl swinging in the space between the stairwells.

"Uh, are you alright?"

Reid snapped out of the trance. "Y-yeah. I'm fine."

* * *

When the two were in the elevator, Reid looked at the woman who had saved him from jumping.

"What?" She asked when she noticed him staring.

"Uh, nothing." He looked away. "Are you…real?"

"Real?" She pinched his arm. "That feel real to you?"

Reid didn't look amused.

"I'm real, dude. Really. Cross my heart." Reid deduced that she was naturally a quiet person, but because of what had happened she was trying her best to help him by keeping the conversation light. "My name's Naomi. What's yours?

"Reid. Doctor Spencer Reid."

"Doctor? What kind of doctor?"

"I've a few PhDs." He was still looking at her skeptically. He noticed that a raven had appeared on the elevator doors.

When they opened, the raven was torn in half, the blood flying everywhere. Reid paled and felt nauseous.

"Dr. Reid, you okay? You look as though you've seen a ghost." She grabbed his arm. "Let's go find your friends."


	4. Chapter 4

"_Science has not yet taught us if madness is or is not the sublimity of the intelligence."  
- Edgar Allan Poe_

"Reid!" JJ plowed into the boy wonder in a big bear hug. "Don't ever run off like that again, _ever_!"

Morgan glared at him although he was elated to see that Reid was alright. "Hey, Pretty Boy. Don't scare us like that again."

Reid gave a small smile and murmured an "I'm sorry."

"Where did you run off too, Mr. Reid?" Dr. Hanks asked.

"It's Doctor, the roof, and this woman helped me down-"

The Dr. Hanks wasn't listening. The thought process stopped after the word "roof". "You were on the roof?" He asked.

"Yes, and a woman named Na-"

"Why were you on the roof?"

"To get some air."

"Really? You didn't go up there to do anything else?"

"No. I'm perfectly fine."

"But then can you explain to me _why_ you had a breakdown in the middle of a case?"

"It was the start of a case and I didn't have a _breakdo-_"

"Reid," Hotch began to say. "You were screaming about ravens, blood, games, riddles, and a little girl! You discharged your gun near JJ and attempted to shoot yourself. You are _not_ fine."

Reid froze and his hands began to tremor. He wondered where Naomi had gone. She wasn't anywhere near him. He knew it. She wasn't real. _The isty bisty spider climbed up the water spout…_

Reid placed a hand to his temple. He could feel the little girl's black eyes aimed on him. Watching. Waiting.

"Dr. Reid, are you experiencing a headache?" Dr. Hanks asked as he scribbled on his clipboard.

"Something like that…." He replied, sounding irritated.

"Let's move this into my office."

* * *

"Only Dr. Reid, please." Dr. Hanks said as they got to the office.

"We're his team, his _family_. Why can't we go in?" Morgan complained.

"I'm sorry. We may discuss things that Dr. Reid may not feel too comfortable talking about in front of others. Please, just wait out here."

Hotch sighed, defeated. His cell phone rang and he started to pace back and forth. "Hotchner," he replied.

"_Hotch, it's Prentiss. Any updates on Reid_?"

Hotch explained to her what happened and what he suspected that Reid may have attempted to do. He sighed deeply. "Any updates on the case?"

"_Well, we've narrowed the unsub down to a paranoid, obsessive compulsive individual who hordes cats_."

"Good work." They continued to talk about the case and Reid. Eventually Hotch shut the phone. When he walked over to JJ and Morgan he heard Morgan say: "Alright, Baby-Girl. I'll update you as soon as I know anything. I promise" before hanging up.

Hotch sent JJ and Morgan to go work on the case and he promised up and down that as soon as any information was given he would give them a call. He was going to stay behind and have a conversation with Reid. But in the meantime…

"Garcia?" Hotch dialed up the lair, and after being mowed down with questions he asked her to look into some pharmaceutical listings.

* * *

Reid fidgeted with his fingers as he avoided eye contact with Dr. Hanks. He was distracted with the ravens nailed to the book case, the walls, the ceiling. He began to wonder if Dr. Hanks was even real. _Down came the rain to wash the spider out…_

He could hear the little girl. She wasn't real, she wasn't real, _she wasn't real_. Naomi wasn't real. The ravens weren't real. But they were _there_. How can no one else _see_ them? How could they not hear the voices or smell the blood? It was oh so hard to ignore.

"Dr. Reid? Can you please answer my question?" Dr. Hanks asked.

"Huh, I-I'm sorry, can you repeat that?"

"I've looked into your records and noticed that you have prescribed medication to dull out your headaches and delusions. When was the last time you've taken the medicine?"

"Uh, the morning of yesterday."

"So you've missed two doses?"

"Yes, sir." He looked around and noticed the rusted nails that were driven into the wings and heart of the ravens. What and odd decorating choice. _Out came the sun and dried up all the rain…_

"And what convinced you to stop your medication? Dr. Reid? Do you follow?"

Reid studied the ravens intently, but he still listened to the doctor. "The little girl stopped visiting me after the medication, but through the chaos of my dreams, of my _mind,_ she made sense. She told me to stop and so I did and now I'm stuck in a game in which I have to find the clues to the riddle, but I _can't_ because the riddle always changes and now I have to find the little girl's name in order to get a step closer to peace."

Dr. Hanks let him ramble on. When Reid took a breath, he interjected "Dr. Reid, what have you been seeing since you stopped your medication?"

"I've been seeing the girl and the ravens. Did you know that Egyptian, Chinese, Siberian, Greek, and Semitic cultures sees the raven as an omen to storms, whereas European and African cultures see it as a bringer or a warning to death? They are also thought to be one of the smartest type of crow due conclusive observations done by-"

"Dr. Reid," Dr. Hanks said.

"Yes?"

"We need to talk about why you discharged your firearm in your work plac-"

"Wait, you also have a PhD in mental health?"

Dr. Hanks grinned. "Like you, Dr. Reid, I get around. Now, explain to me-" Dr. Hanks's voice began to get blurred out and the ravens began to bleed. _And the isty bitsy spider…_

"No…" Reid whispered.

"Excuse me? Dr. Reid, are you okay?"

_Never…_

Reid cradled his head within his hands.

_Ever…_

"Dr. Reid, are you alright?"

_Climbed…_

"Shut up, shut up, shut up…" He groaned. "Shut _up_!"

_Up the spout…_

"Nurse, please get me a sedative and some of Dr. Reid's prescription pills!"

A nurse hurriedly came in and urged Reid to swallow some pills. He forced them down and felt a needle prick his arm.

_Again…_

* * *

**A/N: Wow! Thank you everyone who has read/followed/favorited/commented on my story. I hope you all are enjoying it! Thank you so much! The next chapter should be out soon.**


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